Home Star Still Runnin'

Okay gents,

Just a blast from the past. In our continuing efforts to thoroughly entertain ourselves, I thought I would re-introduce a classic Piggy recommendation.

www.homestarrunner.com

As you will remember, Strong Bad has an email answer section, and he's even upgraded to his Lappy 486.

Enjoy!

I'm busy too

Dave is possibly locked in the proverbial bathroom.

If Ryan's not around that makes me wonder if there's a sudden threesome happening in that household.

I've had better excuses and I'm sure all us kids will be back soon ... for now why don't you bring it on into Omletteville?

Tragedy at Virginia Tech: A Media Retrospective

Firstly, I think it goes without saying that everyone on the Porch sends their prayers and well-wishes to the families of those affected by Monday's tragedy in Blacksburg, Va., as well as the entire community of Virginia Tech University.

I'm sure we have already discussed several aspects of this incident with friends, family, co-workers, as has just about everyone else in the country. My question for the porchmates tonight: How do you think the media did?

In particular, today we saw a blacklash from TV viewers and newspaper readers angry over the media's decision to broadcast video and pictures from Cho Seung-Hui's multimedia manifesto, which was mailed to NBC in the two hours between the shooting incidents.

Was it wrong to broadcast the material or print it in the papers?

One compelling argument for "no" comes from Marc Fisher of the Washington Post, who says "Journalists do not have the right to hide material that is so clearly essential to a full understanding of a major public issue."

On the flip side, an equally compelling argument was delivered by Virginia State Police Col. Steve Flaherty, who told the Associated Press that he was disappointed with what the network showed.

"I just hate that a lot of people not used to seeing that type of image had to see it," he told AP.

What do you think? For newspapers, it was not an easy decision. Take a look at how papers across the country handled a delicate situation. NOTE: This link updates daily, so it may be different after midnight Eastern Time.

Consider: Each of Texas' five "major dailies" -- Austin, Dallas, Fort Worth, Houston and San Antonio -- elected to use the photos on their front pages.

Infant CPR

Okay, so we had our Infant CPR class last night. It was a simple one hour course up at the hospital, and it was terrifying.

The process, as with adults, is simple enough. Two breathes followed by 30 chest compressions, wash, rinse and repeat. The catch is that a babies lungs are the size of a cherry tomato and paper thin, so if you blow to hard, they pop. Oh, and chest compressions require only two fingertips or you might crush the entire chest cavity. Yeah, easy. I'm 230 and I just moved a piano last night. Am I really gentle enough to apply CPR in necessary? My initial thought is not.

But wait, let us get to choking. If you determin that the child is choking, just flip it over and beat on the back 5 times, then flip and do 5 chest compressions. The foreign object is supposed to just fly right out of them. Right.

So, I am no prepared to monitor this, as yet, unborn child 24/7. Sleep is for the weak.

Tornadoes, cops, a bloody arm and a U-Haul truck

Those of you to points south and southeast may have heard about the tornadoes that ravaged parts of North Texas on Friday night. That includes the Fort Worth suburb of Haltom City -- close to where my wife was -- and East Dallas, not too far from where I was, when the thing went down.

I spent most of my Friday in Dallas, helping my sister move into her new digs in midtown. Swanky. (By the way, if you want to find out who your true friends are, ask them to help you move.) All day, the weather cooperated, the work was hard, and I was burning calories.

Lori, meanwhile, worked a long day in Dallas and then caught a ride with a friend back toward Fort Worth at the end of the day. They were supposed to go to her car, which I had left at the station for her before catching a train to Dallas.

Instead, they drove right into the head of the storm system as it roared through Fort Worth into Northeast Tarrant County. The van they were in was pelted with golfball-sized hail, and they retreated to a nearby mall garage to wait it out.

I'm minding my own business helping move couches and such when I get a frantic call from Lori that her car was in the process of being totaled by hail. While I'm trying to reassure her, I hear a noise in the background -- tornado sirens. The bad weather was on its way to Dallas in a hurry.

So now I'm rushing along with the others to get the truck loaded and on its way when I get another frantic call from the wife -- turns out now our house alarm is going off with no one home, and the monitoring company couldn't get ahold of anyone so the police are on their way there.

I spend a few frantic minutes trying to find the number for the alarm company and meanwhile, we head in a hurry to my sister's new place. We stop at a convenience store for a lock (the truck's gotta be secure so the tornado will take everything one piece, I presume) and that's when the skies open up and start pouring down torrential rains.

Car getting totaled, wife being frantic, cops being dispatched, truck needs to be locked. We get back to the new apartment and I run into the rain to put the lock on.

I slip on the painted concrete and fall right to the ground, skinning my arm. I'm bleeding. Angry, I get back up and run to put the lock on the truck.

The lock is too small.

Within seconds, I'm underneath a canopy calling the missus. She's on her way to the alarm-triggered home with her friend in tow. In a panic, I call the alarm company and cancel dispatch, then think better of it and call again to request dispatch all over again. If they didn't like me before, now they really don't like me. (My inner monologue: It's probably just hail or a thunderclap that's set the alarm off, right? Are you sure? Sure, I'm sure. Right? Um...)

The storm passes by Lori and suddenly it's sunny over there. We're getting drenched. Lori gets home and the house is OK. Cops pass by and ask if it's alright, and it turns out it is. It seems to have been hail on the windows, but no damage.

The storm passes Dallas quickly too, but it rains intermittently for the rest of the night. We move a few more things before giving up for the night and retiring to our current favorite Dallas haunt.

A day has passed, and like my arm, the whole affair seems to be scabbed over. Until the next Texas storm, that is.

And the car? Turned out, not a single ding or dent.

Good for you, Mazda. Good for you.

On the Flip Side...

Just so the world doesn't seem too darkened by racial tensions, it seems that Interracial Marriages are Up across the country.

This shouldn't be a surprise, but some people may not actually realize that the racial divide is much more of a gray area than what is preached by either side of the debate.

I personally think that this article is refreshing, and a nod to the journalistic integrity of the writer during a news cycle that could prove much more profitable riding on the inflammatory remarks of Don Imus.

Oh, and just so you know. I found this article on the Drudge Report, which I'm sure you guys don't frequent as often as I, but is a great headline source.

Don Imus

... is done.

(I even posted the link from Fox News for Ryan, since sometimes I think that's all he can tolerate.)

Commentary please? I'll lead off: Even though this outcome doesn't exactly surprise me -- and I didn't care for Imus' radio show to begin with -- I can't help but be a little concerned about the outcome.

Why? Not sure. Maybe it's like the bully who is finally brought down in the playground by the kid hero. And while the bully is on the floor bleeding, you can't help but feel a little sorry for him, right?

who am i, no really, who am i

To explain my absence from the front porch I will use a house metaphor. For the last two days I have been locked in a bathroom and no one could hear my screams.

I successfully managed to lock myself out of this blog by forgetting my identity. I know. How can I forget my own identity? How many identities do I have that would make it easy to forget. Well I started counting: work e-mail, school e-mail, primary personal e-mail (friends family), secondary personal e-mail (school friends, various account registrations), blogger g-mail, alumni forwarding address, four web-site emails, and one me to remember all the account names and passwords. Is this necessary? I think I need cyber counseling for identity displacement.

ok gotta go. time for my class and education.

Imus, Sharpton, and other moronic thought

Okay, just read the following story about MSNBC dropping Imus in the Morning. It starts as an article on the obvious outcome whenever a white guy manages to offend the black community. While I personally think that Don Imus is an idiot and the loss of his radio show is hardly a loss to the world of broadcast journalism, it is another underlying theme in this story which has me concerned.

Read the last 6 paragraphs, paying special attention to the comments by Sharpton. This is not, nor ever was, about Don Imus. This is another hand out scheme in which "equality" has to be pushed onto, in this case, talk radio. The idea that somehow the imbalance of racial diversity in talk show hosts needs to be aleviated throught artificial means (as opposed to natural market demands) is exactly why I'm a conservative.

Maybe I'm off on this. Sharpton works me up to the point of irrationality. Am I way off on this?

But the most absurd aspect to this whole vendeta against a "white" talk radio.....since when has there been a problem with the color of someone's voice?

"Won't bind your legs"

After seeing this post on another blog today, was there any reason to post at all today?

No. Let us bow to greatness.

The Front Porch

Dave...

We miss you so much! It is lonely on this empty front porch without you.

Everyone here is hoping for your return.

So just follow the signs....and come back home.

We'll be waiting!

Last Man Posting

It's not like Dave to leave us alone on the porch ...

Do you think we've about worn this metaphor out? Of course not.

Pandora rocks the blocks

... but sometimes, what it tells you about your musical preferences can be quite humbling.

Like apparently, I'm a fan of Joe Jackson.

And you know what? I am.

Junk in the Trunk

Just when you thought it was safe to hop on those Elephant Rides in India....

On another note, I finally watched X-files the movie last night. No, I had never seen it, and last night's viewing confirmed my suspicions as to why I did not see it in the first place.

Oh, and the Iraqi Dinar ain't doing nothing yet.

Finally, as you'll notice...I added a link section down on the left. Let us list the coolest sites that we frequent so that we are a one stop shop of fun and excitement!

Yes, we are really that busy....but.....

It sounds, Rodriguez, that you are suffering a little introspective morose as you comtemplate your own hectic schedule. We're there for you.

In fact, I think you need a little inspiration. And don't worry, someday you'll find it, the Rainbow Connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.

The Hot 'n Fat Theory

I know why Al Gore is against global warming...

So, some science suggests that extreme climate environments induce the metabolism to accelerate in order to accomodate the temperature regluation requirements on the body. In warm weather, the body must work harder to cool itself, thereby burning more energy, and reducing excess weight in the process, and well as increasing the intake requirements on appetites.

With that in mind, I now believe that global warming is a conspiracy perpetrated by the large fast food corporations against fat people. By increasing the average global temperatures overtime, by using some sophisticated technology to increase the sun's natural reactions, companies like McDonalds will not only increase sales, but will offset the weight gain of their patrons because of the increased metobolic rates. Fast food will then be marketed as health food.

You can see how this is an afront to all "big-boned" people. By enjoying those oversized, trans-fat injected burger meals, we are contributing to our own demise....in weight. You can see why someone such as Al Gore, who is happily gaining weight by the day, is working against such sinister efforts.

If you value your spare tire, fight global warming!

Are we all really that busy?

We've all had discussions before about where we're going as a society and whether we've all become too busy for our own good. Why can't we ever stop and smell the flowers anymore?

Then, in Sunday's Washington Post, there was this.

In a pre-arranged experiment, the paper asked world-reknowned violinst Joshua Bell to perform a concert, of sorts. Only he'd be performing at a Washington subway station in cognito as a simple street performer, never letting on about his true identity.

He's a man, the paper says, who can command $1,000 a minute. But for 43 minutes, he played a solo concert for more than 1,000 people in the most intimate of settings -- and nearly all of them had no idea who he was.

How do you think he did? Would the power of the performance be enough to break through the average Joe's busy lifestyle and get-on-to-work mentality? If you are like me (and my fellow bloggers are), the answer will depress you. The story is a bit long, but the writing is very good and I love the way multimedia is infused directly into the presentation on the page.

It raises such a good question: Had I been in that subway station on that day, would I have stopped to listen? Would you have?

Hats off to us sinister southpaws

Here on the porch, we are a little society unto ourselves.

Out there in your world, barbecue tastes great with sauce and pickles and between 8 and 9/10ths of you are right-handed.

Here in our world, barbecue also tastes great with sauce and pickles. But when we eat, 66 percent of us will use our dominant hand -- the left one.

Why are we born left-handed? Perhaps it is because we were exposed to a higher-than-normal level of testosterone before birth. Perhaps it is birth stress. Maybe the ultrasound had something to do with it.

Now you may ask, what does barbecue have to do with any of this? Left-handedness is also associated with impairments of the brain.

Pulled pork sandwiches anyone?

Lame of God

We have rules now and I think that is very lame. I can live with rules because rules are necessary and there are things I would not want my mom to read. As for lame = ***, we have television to blame. This hurts me more than you both will ever know. TV is the problem. South Park is the devil and hip kids get their words from tv and film. It is all about communication and culture.

That being said I love South Park, bad humor, and words that make mother's blush. Just not all at the same time and not my mother.

happy belated easter my lovely god fearing, red blooded, pure hearted american friends

Same should prolly go for religion

True, true. We can have quite the potty mouths sometimes. Although, I reserve the right on occasion to call Sunspot Gold exactly what it is.

My book club wouldn't have it any other way.

Paint fumes and other Easter pleasantries...

4/9/07 UPDATE****

Okay, so I decided to pull this post following concerns from the Rod-man. While my intention was to rag on my own personal religious leanings, upon second reading, I realized that I would offend more than just myself.

Won't happen again. Been down that road before....

Instead, Erik's topic at hand.....the term "gay" lost it's literal meaning a long time ago. It's a word without a home. How it became a synonym for "homosexual" (specifically of the male persuasion) I do not know. I see the pop-culture term of the word "gay=lame" as a reflection on the stereotype of the homosexual male as being effeminate and soft. That is my take on it. Again, it's a lost word anyway....so now it has double meanings. Go figure....

Why does the word sinister define someone identified as a deviant? The etymoloy of the word originates as "left-handed." There, now we have something to take personal offense against.

I guess my point is that life is just a little too politically correct these days, and I say that as a white, middle class, overweight male. I'm about as politically incorrect as you can get, just by my very existence. It's okay though...pretty soon I'll have a kid, and when he/she is a teenager, I'm sure I'll be viewed as "totally gay" or whatever semantic equivalent is popular in 12-13 years from now.

Song of the moment

... Josh Rouse, "James." From the album 1972.

Or, as I call it, the greatest free download on iTunes that ever was. (Hah ha, too late.)

Download it. Now.

Right this second. Seriously.

Keeping up my end of the bargain

Friends of friends,

I think, like moderators of any good blog, bloggers should push the limits of journalism and make mainstream journos feel uncomfortable in their cutting-edgeness in interpreting what's news and what's not. (Nevermind the fact that I am, in fact, a "mainstream journalist." Let's pretend I'm not here.)

So hear this:

This weekend, I spent QT at home with the family in scenic Corpus Christi, Texas. And we were talking about something with my teenage cousins about something that was fairly dumb. And one of the kids, who is quite intelligent, said, "that's so gay."

As in, that's lame. Uncool. Unhip. Unhappening. Gay?

Now my dear porch residents, some of my best friends and even co-workers consider themselves gay. But, those folks, more than likely, don't consider themselves uncool. Yet however, in our modern vernacular "gay" has come to mean something more than itself, particularly for young people. And nothing against my good cousins, who if anything, are guilty of being hip.

It is hard, I think, to come across any young people who aren't tempted to use the word "gay" as something that means something completely different than what, ahem, gay people intended it to mean.

This is not exactly news, per se. In fact, in Fresno, California, school officials are already warning kids not to push it with their remarks about what's gay and what's not. But I wonder: Is the damage already done? Have we as a society decided that the word gay = lame? And why?

Your thoughts?

Dude...

You guys are too deep. I was going to be like, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton vitriol, WTF? Or, Austin = bad ass; Fort Worth = not.

But I see you guys don't pull your punches. To the depths of the abyss, just like it was back in the day on the porches of 38th Street and beyond. So be it.

I was in the Golden State recently and, while there, some asshole bar chick sneered at me for politely requesting a Bud Light longneck. Apparently, oh friends of friends, we are a dying breed. Instead, I had something called Sunspot Gold, which I must admit to you, tasted like shit. Sorry, Sunspot Gold.

Even worse. Fighting with a crib in the middle of the night. No babies coming from this way quite yet. But DZ, marriage is quite a treat. Won't you join us?

By the way, you want some real drama? Here it comes: I don't like "24". Or "Lost". I think they're both shit. Wrap your minds around that!!

Manhood is...

....arguing with the new 3-in-1 Bassinet/Sleeper/Changer at 10pm in your bedroom while your pregnant wife has fallen asleep on the bed.

The good news is that I got the thing assembled with little injury to it, or to myself. Some dads like to use the line "Just wait until you're a father...." after which is usually some trivial babble that is tremendously important during parenthood, yet utterly meaningless to the child-free.
Well, I won't use that line, rather I'm just gonna say it. Pig, start making kids so that you can feel my pain!

Zepeda, though, to you I wish no such torment yet. Instead, I ask that you live life to it's fullest. Embrace every moment with fervor and splendor. Capture each drop of happiness and bath in it's warmth. Pig is already married....it's too late for him.

G'night amigos.

DZ

I know he's around... I think I missed his call the other day. Oops.

Hello my name is Dave and I'm a blog-aholic

OK gentlemen with your suburban lives, homes, and ethnically manicured yards. Try this one on for size. I'm 30 years old, I dislike my job, live in a great neighborhood (no bullets or methlabs), and have homework assignments. I drink for the pleasure of the substance not to get drunk and openly mock my former friend malt liquor... such sadness all the times I don't remember. I hang with the grumps and the skeezers and linger in libraries.

The best thing to happen as of late... What does one in his early 30's truly need? A formal event. And not just any, being students of the iSchool we can not simply have a formal event. We are having an iProm. That is correct I said "iProm" bitches. So grab the closet lovely with her hair in a bun and overdue stamp and dance the night away as if no one had ever heard of Dewey.

Yes, I am on the Prom Committee and I already have a date.

Where's Dave?

Okay, so I know that DZ is a busy man, with life, school, work, etc....

But that is no excuse! You are a hip and cool grad student with a pad on 37th and the drag, and a german shower curtain on your wall. Where you be?!

On another note, I'll get some pictures of my kickin' mini-van to post so that you can see how low I have sunk in the the muck and mire of fatherhood.

Dang, it's gonna be cold in Houston this weekend.

Re: Dots

I can read between the lines...

"I plan on starting up a blog when the baby is born to track the progress .... "

You're going to be a male mommy blogger. That rocks the blocks.

Good timing

Dude, this blog couldn't have come soon enough. Come May, this'll be the only porch sitting you'll ever get to do ever again, huh... Virtual porch sitting, that is. No more long nights out back with buddies and brew.

Where are you, Dave? Get to posting!

Ken-taw-kee = "Redneck Idiot"

Here's a redneck musing for you...

A coworker of mine decided to tell me a "funny" story today. Her family is from Kentucky and her family line is rich with "You might be a redneck if..." examples. This was her best one.

One of her uncle's brothers (yes I know the semantics are stupid, but that's part of the fun) thought the joke about redneck saying "You might be a redneck if...the phrase "watch this!" is followed by a life threatening stunt." was pretty funny.

Well, not long after hearing this joke, he was on a cargo train (why, I do not know) and turned to his brother saying, "Watch this!". He proceeded to jump off the train.......and died.

Yes, that was the punch line. As my coworker laughed, I stood there not having any idea what to say. How do you respond to that?! I told her that it was kinda funny, and at least the idiot is no longer contributing to the gene pool, but that she may refrain from using that as a "joke." It's more of an anecdote to exemplify stupidity. She kept on laughing and said it was a always a funny story for the family to remember. Yeah.

Don't go to Kentucky.

Dots?!

You had to go with the dots. Geez....

Well, I am glad you chose Blogger. I already have other blogs with this, so it makes life easy with me. I plan on starting up a blog when the baby is born to track the progress, and concurrent parental deterioration, of the little Nelson.

This is gonna be cool.

For my first thoughts on this blog.....the British are a bunch of pansies.

Is this thing on?

10 HOME
20 PRINT "Hello World"
30 GOTO 10
RUN