My Space has no Front Porch

Okay, it's been a while, but I'm back on the porch, albeit a dusty porch that speaks arabic, but still a porch.

I can assure you that I will continue to post here as a means of escape. While I have embraced the MySpace hype, I have done so grudgingly. I liken MySpace to the online version of a fast food restaurant. While everyone goes there, and you'll probably run into people you know, it's hard to have a real conversation and its hardly as relaxing as the porch.

Oh, I'm in Iraq already. For real details, you will have to start following my other blog, because I will reserve porch conversation to those things that are interesting to us, rather then the mundane events that consume my life in Iraq.

So, in summary, MySpace is that kid on the street that I like to yell at from the porch. I may be some old man that doesn't like to leave his rocking chair anymore to venture out into the neighborhood, but I sure to like the iced tea.

You'd think somebody had a baby or something

Did we all migrate to MySpace? Why didn't anyone tell me?

Will Michael Bay destroy our childhood?

Today's required reading is here.

Discuss.

I'll begin. I'm not a crazy superfan, but I agree with a lot of the article from the fan perspective. Make Megatron a jet, make Bumblebee a Camaro, whatever. I don't care. But Optimus Prime better kick some ass.

Ryan bro, I don't think Dave and I can wait 10 days.. But they say it's always better the second time anyway.

Buy my house... please

In three days, our quaint little home will have been on the market for a month. Thirty days. In that entire amount of time, our home has been visited by all of one person.

One.

Anyone who has sold a home before knows that's not good. How can anyone buy our house if no one will even come in the door? My father-in-law told us the story of a young co-worker of his who is trying to sell her house. After a month, they were disappointed to find that they did not get any offers, even though the house was shown 25 times. What do we have to do to get our house to show 25 times? Give away gold bars?

In this market, I'm not surprised houses aren't selling. Home sales are continuing to slump, the economy has been stuttering, median home values are down and mortgage rates have been on the rise. In short, people who are selling homes right now are either really desperate, or really stupid.

Not sure where we lie just yet. But we've decided we won't let the charade carry on forever. If things stay at this pace, we'll get the message, pull the listing and work with what we've got.

Those of who are into metaphors, that means we'll be drinking lots of lemonade.

Lemonade sucks.

Blog Away

Gentlemen,

With recent events and changes, both major and minor, it has become blatantly apparent that we have been remiss in our blogging endeavors. The porch is empty and cold.

What defines us as men, but for our insight and conversation? Where are the journalistic insights provided by E-Rod on global events and unique personalities. What has happened to the profound, yet easily digestible blue collar anecdotal commentary that LMS offers sparingly for us to savor? Why have I not contributed my own lame interjections?

Where have we gone? What have we become? The porch is calling. I'm sure there is a fresh pitcher of ice tea waiting. Blog away, my friends. Blog away.

Minor changes

Today I decided to wear my black and white wingtips instead of my blue and gray. I also picked the black over the grey t-shirt. In addition to this minor change, I sent my day into flux by using the military shoulder bag instead of my academic black messenger bag. Tonight I might have dinner at six but that will depend on if I am hungry at 5:30. If a delay in hunger becomes apparent I might eat at 7. At any rate I don't know if I can deal with all the change in my life. I envy you both for your skill and control. One day I may also be able to have major changes, until then I will settle for changing socks at least once a day or possibly trying this new dish soap I have a coupon for that came in the mail. I will as always remain boldly true to myself. I will face all the challenges life has to offer with eyes staring down adversity past the bottom of my pint glass.

History Repeating....

Okay ya'll,

I believe I can announce the impending change. While still tentative, I am fairly certain it will proceed.

I have been given another job opportunity overseas. An offer was made by M. Baker Corporation for a Project Management position in Iraq. The package offer was almost irresistable, and after much consideration between Carrie and I, we decided it would be in our best long term interests, and that of Schroeder's too. The financial and professional benefits in the long run far exceed the short term negatives that we identified.

I would be a project manager for construction services under the joint venture of Stanley, Baker, Hill. Working directly with the Corp of Engineers I would be located at Camp Victory, which is where I was previously working so I know the area well. All the same civilian security considerations apply, and I am confident that I would be in no more risk that I previously experienced. The R&R schedule is two weeks every 4 months, which is the only drawback because it keeps me away from home for long stretches, but again, that has been taken into consideration.

Carrie would remain here in Houston where we feel comfortable with our level of support from family and friends during my absence.

Again, this remains tentative, as with any work overseas due to the medical reviews and background checks that are required. I feel confident that there will be no obstacles to employment though.

Anyway, that is my news. I have not yet divulged this information to family or to my present employer, but that will be coming shortly. I am more afraid of my mother than of Iraq.

More Changes...

Be prepared....

More changes are coming for the porch. I'll have news of my own this weekend. I won't divulge until I have more information, but it's a doozy.

Making a change

Gang,

The word is out, and now it's official, so I'm happy to share my good news: I've accepted an editing position at The Dallas Morning News. It's a great job and a big step up for me, so obviously I'm excited about it. I'm sorry to be leaving Fort Worth, but this was a good offer and it was the right time, so I'm making the change. I start there next week.

Making this choice was stressful enough, but now the real trial begins. Lori and I both will be working out of Dallas now, so after careful thought and consideration, we've decided to put our house in north Fort Worth up for sale and move over to the Dallas side of the metroplex. I know what you're both thinking -- clearly, we have a screw loose. And maybe we do. The market is atrocious and we'll be lucky to turn any profit at all on the house -- if it sells.

The funnest part of this is that we have no idea what we're doing. We're working with a Realtor and have spent the last several days whittling down the house to the bare basics to set it up for "staging," which apparently is a process where they make people want to buy your house, even though it is set up to look like a place that no one realistically would ever actually live in.

Thoughts, comments, encouragement, etc. are appreciated. Expect me to be in touch to talk job and house. I'm especially interested in the advice of one porch sitter I know who has had to sell a house before.

Touching The Surface

Okay all,

Welcome to the new face of computing.

Picture this...in the rather sub-par movie, The Minority Report, Cruise's character uses a touch screen computer interface in which screens and information is whisked around the vertical display with the touch of his fingers. Fun, to say the least, but seemingly improbable in the forseeable future.

Now Microsoft answers those geeky sci-fi dreams. Microsoft Surface will be introduced in the Winter 2007, and I think it is really cool.

In my line of work, that sort of touch responsive capability would be very useful in brainstorming sessions, and I can only begin to imagine the possibilities. Think paginate capability or video editing. All sorts of cool!

Anyway, check it out, and then consider buying Microsoft options for '08, because this will change the face of computing.

Morrissey Live in Austin

Today I will be screaming for the Moz performing at the Backyard. This will be the second time I have seen him perform. It should be the third. This is that story you have all heard a million times. It is a repost from another place I have blogged and on this day it demands your viewing on the porch.

Tuesday June 18th, 1991

I was fourteen years old. That morning my cousin, his grilfriend, and his buddy drove to my partents house and picked up my brother and I for a day trip to Austin. This would be my first time to go to Austin. It would be the first time I was allowed to be further than 25 yards away from my home and parents. It was also the first time I would attend a concert.

I sat in the bed of his girlfriend's truck under the false security of a camper shell for what felt like a lifetime. We arrived in the capital city and weaved our way to the venue. I was delighted by the throngs of people floating about in multi-colored docs and hair. They trapsed about flowers in hand and waited. Soon, very soon, we would be in the air of Morrissey.

I did my duty as a fan and purchsed my tour t-shirt and various other goodies for myself and friends. Then we waited, and waited, and waited. Finally a man with a bull horn fumbling on crutches emerged from the doors. "Excuse me!" he shouted, "may I have your attention. There was an incident at last nights show in Dallas. Due to insufficient security measures at this venue Morrissey will not be performing tongiht!" The crowd gasped and quickly turned from chants of "Morrissey " to "BOO!!!" The flowers once so lovingly held soon formed a pile on the ground. That pile became the designated exit from the line. Each heel that crossed ground itself into the pulpy mass that once meant love and now disappointment, truely, truely.

In that instant I was crushed. My first roadtrip and concert a bust. My over priced t-shirt clinged to my pasty thin frame a constant reminder of the concert that never was. We returned to the truck and began the drive back to San Antonio.

The tickets for the Austin show would be honored at the next show in Houston or for a full refund at place of purchase. My parents made that decision and while my cousin, his girlfriend, and his buddy sat in Houston the next day, I sat in my room and recounted the events to Elvis Michaels a DJ at the community college radio station KSYM.

Though not as poetic as my recount it was accurate. I walked away from this a little wiser, a little more experienced about the world, and jaded with the music industry. I went to Austin to see Morrissey and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

The insult to injury occured one year later. I was at the mall trying to get away from the family and worked my way into the music store. There in a large display was a Morrissey concert video. "Morrissey Live in Dallas" the very show that ruined my Austin adventure. I am now 30 years old. I still have not watched that video and will continue to refuse until death.

Last night Morrissey performed in Dallas. Let us hope that history does not repeat itself. If it does I can assure you there will be more than one man walking with crutches by the time I am done.

Cloak and dagger stuff

Friends of friends,

I will set the trifecta and we will have a quick rejoice over the fact that we have all come out onto the porch on the same day.

Now then --

It's been quite the stressful week for me. Big changes looming. Things happening. This has made me quite flaky. Sorry everyone.

But soon, very soon, I will reveal all. And we shall discuss.

EDIT: I mistook the date! I am out here all alone. Sniff.

Shafted

To begin I must apologize for my long leave from this sanctuary of creative freedom and speech. I have been quietly eking out my existence in our dear capital city. I am happy to report the semester is over. The cruelty that is higher education is in hibernation until the 31st at which time the beast will awaken and summer secession begins. How I love new cruelty.

Now my dear lovely and loyal readers I have stories to tell. So here I am and here it begins.

In an effort to lessen the normal pains of a harsh Monday morning I had decided to place some strategic hours at work on a Sunday. I had an employee coming in to assist me later in the day but for now I was at work, early, alone, and at peace. I began my hours with a review of the next days work load. I prepared a cart and loaded it with equipment I would need later. I then took the elevator to the 2nd floor to work on a class room, as I stepped into the elevator a strange feeling fell over me. In an OCD panic I frantically searched for my keys, phone, and ipod before the doors closed. The last inch of lobby light squeezed from my sight a stray thought popped in my head and I thought "it would really suck if I lost my keys down the elevator shaft." The doors opened I gripped my keys tight in my hand and I went to work. On my rounds I recalled at least two people that I knew off that had lost their keys down the elevator shaft and again I thought "it would really suck if I lost my keys down the elevator shaft." The work continued and my mind turned to other meaningless things as it so often does while I perform repetitious tasks on par with those only enjoyed by research primates and then rewarded with a banana. My missions took me repeatedly from floor to floor and back again. I was in Elevator #2 organizing a media cart while shuffling papers and drinking a coke. I reached into my pocket for my phone to check the time. In that instance I removed my phone, my keys, and some change and placed it on the cart. I checked the time put the phone on the cart, the elevator doors opened and I pushed my cart. The elevator had not leveled out with the lobby floor. The front wheels caught the raised edge. The rear wheels lifted and dropped and in that instance my keys leapt in a perfect arc, skated in the air in slow motion pausing only long enough for my brass keys to grab a ray of light and sparkle as gravity clawed them from there height and plunged them downward towards the abyss that lays between the elevator and the main floor. My keys did not have a chance. This wad of composite metal that usually weighs one side of my pants down. This conglomerate measuring three inches in diameter magically flattens itself to gracefully slide between a one and a half inch gap without touching either side. It was a dive that would make an Olympic swimmer cry. The only sound I heard was a tiny "plink" as they struck the bottom of the shaft. Then I realized it really does suck when your keys fall down the elevator shaft.



--

The exciting part of the story ends there. I had a spare set hidden in my office. I had an employee coming in later. I had an elevator crew retrieve my keys the next day. The story gets a happy ending but my pride is forever wounded and I now have an enemy for life. Elevator #2 you better watch your back, or your doors, or the buttons on your inside cause I refuse to take this kind of abuse from any hydraulic device... well except maybe a low rider... gotta keep it real viva la raza!

Presidential Posturing

Just in case you wanted to know where your favorite presidents position themselves in the annals of history, here your list.

The Opinion Journal polled 130 scholars of history, political science, economics, among others, and received responses from 85 individuals ranking presidential leadership performance. The Presidential Leadership Rankings would be surprising to some.

I found this newsworthy following President Carter's recent rantings regarding Bush's presidency as the worst in history. He needs to see where he falls first.

Most notably, our last three presidents, including the current George W. Bush, all fall under an average performance rating.

Regardless of anyone's political leaning, I'm sure we can all agree that Warren Harding sucked as a president.

Animated Goodness

I thought I would introduce you all to a 12 part animated online mini-series that I discovered while overseas. It will provide hours of visual candy for your viewing pleasure.

www.ninjai.com

Enjoy!

Knews Worth Knowing

Okay, I know that one of our members here is a member of the media establishment, and I have no desire diminish his daily contribution to the dissemination of news and information, but...

While there are clearly issues of the day that need to be addressed and discussed, there is really only one news source that provides the information that I "need to know" on a daily basis.

The Onion - America's Trusted News Source.

Death of an Icon?

Howdy,

Well, I thought I would stir up some discussion about the recent death of Jerry Falwell. His sudden and quiet death seems to be inspiring copious discussions throughout the media. With commentary, praise, and a strange lack of criticism coming from talking heads, politicians and peers, I thought it was worthy of insight from the porch.

Now, I personally was never a fan nor a critic of Falwell. In truth, I never paid much attention to him, other than keeping aware of his political activity because of his influence on the "religious right." My gut reaction was always to be wary of those profiting from evangelism and their faith. I don't much agree with the concept of the mega-church, of which his in Lynchburg was the first. They tend to bend the rules, and toss out pieces of the bible as they see fit in order to get more butts in the pews. Also, I was never a huge fan of the idea of forming political factions based on faith, regardless of the intention.

Now, I don't know his heart, and it's not my place to judge. I cannot say that his life pursuits were noble or corrupt, but no one can deny his realm of influence.

My question is this. Will his death, timed so well at the beginning of this election cycle, push him to martyrdom? Will this inspire the religious right to fight his battles at the voting booth? Some of the greatest movements in history have been catapulted on the deaths of their leaders. Will this be the start of a moral movement in America, or will it be just another death of an icon? I guess we will see what happens after this media cycle is over and his eulogy has been read and buried.

Introductions....

Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to Schroeder Alan Nelson.

Vital Statistics:

Weight: 8 lbs. 11 oz.

Length: 21 inches

Birthday: May 8th, 2007 @ 16:16 hours

It was a tough fight, but we managed to deliver after 10 hours of induced labor. He's gigantic, and suffered a factured collar bone during delivery, but all is well with him and momma. We returned home on Thursday to spend our first night together as a family in our own beds.

I can't even begin to get into a long narrative about everything. It would take too long. It's just awesome!

She *had* a baby

For those of you who didn't hear, Schroeder Alan Nelson came into the world on Tuesday at a healthy 8 pounds, 11 ounces. Sources tell me the baby was holding a copy of Sean Hannity's latest book, Deliver Us from Evil: Defeating Terrorism, Despotism, and Liberalism. Father must be so proud.

Both mom (and dad!) are doing fine. A hearty congratulations to the both of them.

She's Having A Baby

POINT -

Well, I'm fixin' to have myself a redneck little'un. Yep, I's gonna have myself a rugrat runnin' round the trailer, a fixin' to git itself into all sorts a troubles.

I reckon I gots to be payin' attention to makin' sure it don't git itself killed or nuthin' when playin' in the barn or with the livestock in the pen back in the back there. Course, it may toughin' him up a bit so that he can play football with the other feller's boys.

Don't it just beat all?! I gonna be a pappy! Sure 'nough had to happen some 'ventually. I guess it's nice a thinkin 'bout havin' me a tyke to take to Nascar or out to the boat show. Heck, if its a boy I just might have a new huntin' buddy. Yep, I reckon I'm darn proud. And I'm gonna make sure this kid gets hisself educated for sure. Might even show up his pappy and graduate up from the 5th grade. Boy, I sure is gonna be proud!

I can't wait to get this kid out on its first tractor pull!

COUNTER POINT -

It would seem that I will soon acquire the incomparable task of fatherhood. I equate the task to that of Atlas' struggle, with the weight of the world upon his shoulders.

Perhaps I will begin the life of my offspring with an inspiring introduction to some of the greater classical works of music and literature. While it is perhaps true that the infantile mind is not equipped to appreciate the finer subtleties of the arts, surely the early exposure will inspire a surfacing of talent so surely inherent within the genetic structure of this child.

I long for the days of choral performances, theatre training, and soft melodies played on woodwinds. We will rest easily on the terrace of the summer cottage as our child entertains.

Of course, I would not discount the academic pursuits that a child of this caliber would, no doubt, endeavor. The finest prepatory schools would most easily progress toward academic excellence a the finest ivy league programs. I have no doubt that I will raise a Rhodes Scholar.

Yes, I am sure you would agree that I will soon be a proud father.

What's the Digg deal?

Gents,

Of course we're all aware of Digg, the online 'news' community where users determine what's most important on the site through a democratic process of "digging" the stories they like best. You know, power to the people.

It demonstrates the immense power of the modern Web, but mostly I think it's a silly place where national and international sideshows mingle among the latest Nintendo cheat codes and endless stupid posts about the competition between Sony's Playstation 3 and Microsoft's XBox 360.

In any case, I frequent it to see what everyone from casual web users to Nintendo Wii fanboys think is important. So imagine my surprise when I found the site in the midst of a full-fledged user revolt.

The back story, according to Wired.com's blog: Someone posted a hex-key code that controls encryption for the new HD-DVD formatted discs. With the code, an industrious hacker could defeat the copy protection on HD-DVD discs.

Apparently, the moderators at Digg quickly deleted the post. The user re-posted it, and it was deleted again, as well as the user's account. Digg's moderators explained they had no choice, as the owners of the intellectual property asked for the offending post to be removed.

But instead, that set off a firestorm of angry reaction from the Digg community, mostly in the form of countless posts containing the offending code, some in unique and creative ways. There's a song, poetry and other seemingly normal posts with the code slipped in. (My favorite is the post with lyrics to the "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" with the code in place of the words "Bel-Air.")

So when you go to Digg, you see this code all over the place. Others are digging the stories up to the main page and saying they don't care if their accounts are cancelled because they've lost faith in Digg anyway.

Is this a big deal? Of course it is. This is a bona-fide Web phenomenon, an example of our values at work in the online community. Free speech is a constitutional freedom in America, and regardless of your personal stance in the issue, it's refreshing to see that young people do have the capacity to care deeply when they feel their own rights are seriously being infringed upon.

That being said, we know young people don't vote. If Diggers believe so strongly in democracy on the Web, they should take part in the real thing.

Thoughts?

UPDATE: At about 1 a.m. on Wednesday morning, the site went down. Not sure what'll be there when it goes back up.

Home Star Still Runnin'

Okay gents,

Just a blast from the past. In our continuing efforts to thoroughly entertain ourselves, I thought I would re-introduce a classic Piggy recommendation.

www.homestarrunner.com

As you will remember, Strong Bad has an email answer section, and he's even upgraded to his Lappy 486.

Enjoy!

I'm busy too

Dave is possibly locked in the proverbial bathroom.

If Ryan's not around that makes me wonder if there's a sudden threesome happening in that household.

I've had better excuses and I'm sure all us kids will be back soon ... for now why don't you bring it on into Omletteville?

Tragedy at Virginia Tech: A Media Retrospective

Firstly, I think it goes without saying that everyone on the Porch sends their prayers and well-wishes to the families of those affected by Monday's tragedy in Blacksburg, Va., as well as the entire community of Virginia Tech University.

I'm sure we have already discussed several aspects of this incident with friends, family, co-workers, as has just about everyone else in the country. My question for the porchmates tonight: How do you think the media did?

In particular, today we saw a blacklash from TV viewers and newspaper readers angry over the media's decision to broadcast video and pictures from Cho Seung-Hui's multimedia manifesto, which was mailed to NBC in the two hours between the shooting incidents.

Was it wrong to broadcast the material or print it in the papers?

One compelling argument for "no" comes from Marc Fisher of the Washington Post, who says "Journalists do not have the right to hide material that is so clearly essential to a full understanding of a major public issue."

On the flip side, an equally compelling argument was delivered by Virginia State Police Col. Steve Flaherty, who told the Associated Press that he was disappointed with what the network showed.

"I just hate that a lot of people not used to seeing that type of image had to see it," he told AP.

What do you think? For newspapers, it was not an easy decision. Take a look at how papers across the country handled a delicate situation. NOTE: This link updates daily, so it may be different after midnight Eastern Time.

Consider: Each of Texas' five "major dailies" -- Austin, Dallas, Fort Worth, Houston and San Antonio -- elected to use the photos on their front pages.

Infant CPR

Okay, so we had our Infant CPR class last night. It was a simple one hour course up at the hospital, and it was terrifying.

The process, as with adults, is simple enough. Two breathes followed by 30 chest compressions, wash, rinse and repeat. The catch is that a babies lungs are the size of a cherry tomato and paper thin, so if you blow to hard, they pop. Oh, and chest compressions require only two fingertips or you might crush the entire chest cavity. Yeah, easy. I'm 230 and I just moved a piano last night. Am I really gentle enough to apply CPR in necessary? My initial thought is not.

But wait, let us get to choking. If you determin that the child is choking, just flip it over and beat on the back 5 times, then flip and do 5 chest compressions. The foreign object is supposed to just fly right out of them. Right.

So, I am no prepared to monitor this, as yet, unborn child 24/7. Sleep is for the weak.

Tornadoes, cops, a bloody arm and a U-Haul truck

Those of you to points south and southeast may have heard about the tornadoes that ravaged parts of North Texas on Friday night. That includes the Fort Worth suburb of Haltom City -- close to where my wife was -- and East Dallas, not too far from where I was, when the thing went down.

I spent most of my Friday in Dallas, helping my sister move into her new digs in midtown. Swanky. (By the way, if you want to find out who your true friends are, ask them to help you move.) All day, the weather cooperated, the work was hard, and I was burning calories.

Lori, meanwhile, worked a long day in Dallas and then caught a ride with a friend back toward Fort Worth at the end of the day. They were supposed to go to her car, which I had left at the station for her before catching a train to Dallas.

Instead, they drove right into the head of the storm system as it roared through Fort Worth into Northeast Tarrant County. The van they were in was pelted with golfball-sized hail, and they retreated to a nearby mall garage to wait it out.

I'm minding my own business helping move couches and such when I get a frantic call from Lori that her car was in the process of being totaled by hail. While I'm trying to reassure her, I hear a noise in the background -- tornado sirens. The bad weather was on its way to Dallas in a hurry.

So now I'm rushing along with the others to get the truck loaded and on its way when I get another frantic call from the wife -- turns out now our house alarm is going off with no one home, and the monitoring company couldn't get ahold of anyone so the police are on their way there.

I spend a few frantic minutes trying to find the number for the alarm company and meanwhile, we head in a hurry to my sister's new place. We stop at a convenience store for a lock (the truck's gotta be secure so the tornado will take everything one piece, I presume) and that's when the skies open up and start pouring down torrential rains.

Car getting totaled, wife being frantic, cops being dispatched, truck needs to be locked. We get back to the new apartment and I run into the rain to put the lock on.

I slip on the painted concrete and fall right to the ground, skinning my arm. I'm bleeding. Angry, I get back up and run to put the lock on the truck.

The lock is too small.

Within seconds, I'm underneath a canopy calling the missus. She's on her way to the alarm-triggered home with her friend in tow. In a panic, I call the alarm company and cancel dispatch, then think better of it and call again to request dispatch all over again. If they didn't like me before, now they really don't like me. (My inner monologue: It's probably just hail or a thunderclap that's set the alarm off, right? Are you sure? Sure, I'm sure. Right? Um...)

The storm passes by Lori and suddenly it's sunny over there. We're getting drenched. Lori gets home and the house is OK. Cops pass by and ask if it's alright, and it turns out it is. It seems to have been hail on the windows, but no damage.

The storm passes Dallas quickly too, but it rains intermittently for the rest of the night. We move a few more things before giving up for the night and retiring to our current favorite Dallas haunt.

A day has passed, and like my arm, the whole affair seems to be scabbed over. Until the next Texas storm, that is.

And the car? Turned out, not a single ding or dent.

Good for you, Mazda. Good for you.

On the Flip Side...

Just so the world doesn't seem too darkened by racial tensions, it seems that Interracial Marriages are Up across the country.

This shouldn't be a surprise, but some people may not actually realize that the racial divide is much more of a gray area than what is preached by either side of the debate.

I personally think that this article is refreshing, and a nod to the journalistic integrity of the writer during a news cycle that could prove much more profitable riding on the inflammatory remarks of Don Imus.

Oh, and just so you know. I found this article on the Drudge Report, which I'm sure you guys don't frequent as often as I, but is a great headline source.

Don Imus

... is done.

(I even posted the link from Fox News for Ryan, since sometimes I think that's all he can tolerate.)

Commentary please? I'll lead off: Even though this outcome doesn't exactly surprise me -- and I didn't care for Imus' radio show to begin with -- I can't help but be a little concerned about the outcome.

Why? Not sure. Maybe it's like the bully who is finally brought down in the playground by the kid hero. And while the bully is on the floor bleeding, you can't help but feel a little sorry for him, right?

who am i, no really, who am i

To explain my absence from the front porch I will use a house metaphor. For the last two days I have been locked in a bathroom and no one could hear my screams.

I successfully managed to lock myself out of this blog by forgetting my identity. I know. How can I forget my own identity? How many identities do I have that would make it easy to forget. Well I started counting: work e-mail, school e-mail, primary personal e-mail (friends family), secondary personal e-mail (school friends, various account registrations), blogger g-mail, alumni forwarding address, four web-site emails, and one me to remember all the account names and passwords. Is this necessary? I think I need cyber counseling for identity displacement.

ok gotta go. time for my class and education.

Imus, Sharpton, and other moronic thought

Okay, just read the following story about MSNBC dropping Imus in the Morning. It starts as an article on the obvious outcome whenever a white guy manages to offend the black community. While I personally think that Don Imus is an idiot and the loss of his radio show is hardly a loss to the world of broadcast journalism, it is another underlying theme in this story which has me concerned.

Read the last 6 paragraphs, paying special attention to the comments by Sharpton. This is not, nor ever was, about Don Imus. This is another hand out scheme in which "equality" has to be pushed onto, in this case, talk radio. The idea that somehow the imbalance of racial diversity in talk show hosts needs to be aleviated throught artificial means (as opposed to natural market demands) is exactly why I'm a conservative.

Maybe I'm off on this. Sharpton works me up to the point of irrationality. Am I way off on this?

But the most absurd aspect to this whole vendeta against a "white" talk radio.....since when has there been a problem with the color of someone's voice?

"Won't bind your legs"

After seeing this post on another blog today, was there any reason to post at all today?

No. Let us bow to greatness.

The Front Porch

Dave...

We miss you so much! It is lonely on this empty front porch without you.

Everyone here is hoping for your return.

So just follow the signs....and come back home.

We'll be waiting!

Last Man Posting

It's not like Dave to leave us alone on the porch ...

Do you think we've about worn this metaphor out? Of course not.

Pandora rocks the blocks

... but sometimes, what it tells you about your musical preferences can be quite humbling.

Like apparently, I'm a fan of Joe Jackson.

And you know what? I am.

Junk in the Trunk

Just when you thought it was safe to hop on those Elephant Rides in India....

On another note, I finally watched X-files the movie last night. No, I had never seen it, and last night's viewing confirmed my suspicions as to why I did not see it in the first place.

Oh, and the Iraqi Dinar ain't doing nothing yet.

Finally, as you'll notice...I added a link section down on the left. Let us list the coolest sites that we frequent so that we are a one stop shop of fun and excitement!

Yes, we are really that busy....but.....

It sounds, Rodriguez, that you are suffering a little introspective morose as you comtemplate your own hectic schedule. We're there for you.

In fact, I think you need a little inspiration. And don't worry, someday you'll find it, the Rainbow Connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.

The Hot 'n Fat Theory

I know why Al Gore is against global warming...

So, some science suggests that extreme climate environments induce the metabolism to accelerate in order to accomodate the temperature regluation requirements on the body. In warm weather, the body must work harder to cool itself, thereby burning more energy, and reducing excess weight in the process, and well as increasing the intake requirements on appetites.

With that in mind, I now believe that global warming is a conspiracy perpetrated by the large fast food corporations against fat people. By increasing the average global temperatures overtime, by using some sophisticated technology to increase the sun's natural reactions, companies like McDonalds will not only increase sales, but will offset the weight gain of their patrons because of the increased metobolic rates. Fast food will then be marketed as health food.

You can see how this is an afront to all "big-boned" people. By enjoying those oversized, trans-fat injected burger meals, we are contributing to our own demise....in weight. You can see why someone such as Al Gore, who is happily gaining weight by the day, is working against such sinister efforts.

If you value your spare tire, fight global warming!

Are we all really that busy?

We've all had discussions before about where we're going as a society and whether we've all become too busy for our own good. Why can't we ever stop and smell the flowers anymore?

Then, in Sunday's Washington Post, there was this.

In a pre-arranged experiment, the paper asked world-reknowned violinst Joshua Bell to perform a concert, of sorts. Only he'd be performing at a Washington subway station in cognito as a simple street performer, never letting on about his true identity.

He's a man, the paper says, who can command $1,000 a minute. But for 43 minutes, he played a solo concert for more than 1,000 people in the most intimate of settings -- and nearly all of them had no idea who he was.

How do you think he did? Would the power of the performance be enough to break through the average Joe's busy lifestyle and get-on-to-work mentality? If you are like me (and my fellow bloggers are), the answer will depress you. The story is a bit long, but the writing is very good and I love the way multimedia is infused directly into the presentation on the page.

It raises such a good question: Had I been in that subway station on that day, would I have stopped to listen? Would you have?

Hats off to us sinister southpaws

Here on the porch, we are a little society unto ourselves.

Out there in your world, barbecue tastes great with sauce and pickles and between 8 and 9/10ths of you are right-handed.

Here in our world, barbecue also tastes great with sauce and pickles. But when we eat, 66 percent of us will use our dominant hand -- the left one.

Why are we born left-handed? Perhaps it is because we were exposed to a higher-than-normal level of testosterone before birth. Perhaps it is birth stress. Maybe the ultrasound had something to do with it.

Now you may ask, what does barbecue have to do with any of this? Left-handedness is also associated with impairments of the brain.

Pulled pork sandwiches anyone?

Lame of God

We have rules now and I think that is very lame. I can live with rules because rules are necessary and there are things I would not want my mom to read. As for lame = ***, we have television to blame. This hurts me more than you both will ever know. TV is the problem. South Park is the devil and hip kids get their words from tv and film. It is all about communication and culture.

That being said I love South Park, bad humor, and words that make mother's blush. Just not all at the same time and not my mother.

happy belated easter my lovely god fearing, red blooded, pure hearted american friends

Same should prolly go for religion

True, true. We can have quite the potty mouths sometimes. Although, I reserve the right on occasion to call Sunspot Gold exactly what it is.

My book club wouldn't have it any other way.

Paint fumes and other Easter pleasantries...

4/9/07 UPDATE****

Okay, so I decided to pull this post following concerns from the Rod-man. While my intention was to rag on my own personal religious leanings, upon second reading, I realized that I would offend more than just myself.

Won't happen again. Been down that road before....

Instead, Erik's topic at hand.....the term "gay" lost it's literal meaning a long time ago. It's a word without a home. How it became a synonym for "homosexual" (specifically of the male persuasion) I do not know. I see the pop-culture term of the word "gay=lame" as a reflection on the stereotype of the homosexual male as being effeminate and soft. That is my take on it. Again, it's a lost word anyway....so now it has double meanings. Go figure....

Why does the word sinister define someone identified as a deviant? The etymoloy of the word originates as "left-handed." There, now we have something to take personal offense against.

I guess my point is that life is just a little too politically correct these days, and I say that as a white, middle class, overweight male. I'm about as politically incorrect as you can get, just by my very existence. It's okay though...pretty soon I'll have a kid, and when he/she is a teenager, I'm sure I'll be viewed as "totally gay" or whatever semantic equivalent is popular in 12-13 years from now.

Song of the moment

... Josh Rouse, "James." From the album 1972.

Or, as I call it, the greatest free download on iTunes that ever was. (Hah ha, too late.)

Download it. Now.

Right this second. Seriously.

Keeping up my end of the bargain

Friends of friends,

I think, like moderators of any good blog, bloggers should push the limits of journalism and make mainstream journos feel uncomfortable in their cutting-edgeness in interpreting what's news and what's not. (Nevermind the fact that I am, in fact, a "mainstream journalist." Let's pretend I'm not here.)

So hear this:

This weekend, I spent QT at home with the family in scenic Corpus Christi, Texas. And we were talking about something with my teenage cousins about something that was fairly dumb. And one of the kids, who is quite intelligent, said, "that's so gay."

As in, that's lame. Uncool. Unhip. Unhappening. Gay?

Now my dear porch residents, some of my best friends and even co-workers consider themselves gay. But, those folks, more than likely, don't consider themselves uncool. Yet however, in our modern vernacular "gay" has come to mean something more than itself, particularly for young people. And nothing against my good cousins, who if anything, are guilty of being hip.

It is hard, I think, to come across any young people who aren't tempted to use the word "gay" as something that means something completely different than what, ahem, gay people intended it to mean.

This is not exactly news, per se. In fact, in Fresno, California, school officials are already warning kids not to push it with their remarks about what's gay and what's not. But I wonder: Is the damage already done? Have we as a society decided that the word gay = lame? And why?

Your thoughts?

Dude...

You guys are too deep. I was going to be like, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton vitriol, WTF? Or, Austin = bad ass; Fort Worth = not.

But I see you guys don't pull your punches. To the depths of the abyss, just like it was back in the day on the porches of 38th Street and beyond. So be it.

I was in the Golden State recently and, while there, some asshole bar chick sneered at me for politely requesting a Bud Light longneck. Apparently, oh friends of friends, we are a dying breed. Instead, I had something called Sunspot Gold, which I must admit to you, tasted like shit. Sorry, Sunspot Gold.

Even worse. Fighting with a crib in the middle of the night. No babies coming from this way quite yet. But DZ, marriage is quite a treat. Won't you join us?

By the way, you want some real drama? Here it comes: I don't like "24". Or "Lost". I think they're both shit. Wrap your minds around that!!

Manhood is...

....arguing with the new 3-in-1 Bassinet/Sleeper/Changer at 10pm in your bedroom while your pregnant wife has fallen asleep on the bed.

The good news is that I got the thing assembled with little injury to it, or to myself. Some dads like to use the line "Just wait until you're a father...." after which is usually some trivial babble that is tremendously important during parenthood, yet utterly meaningless to the child-free.
Well, I won't use that line, rather I'm just gonna say it. Pig, start making kids so that you can feel my pain!

Zepeda, though, to you I wish no such torment yet. Instead, I ask that you live life to it's fullest. Embrace every moment with fervor and splendor. Capture each drop of happiness and bath in it's warmth. Pig is already married....it's too late for him.

G'night amigos.

DZ

I know he's around... I think I missed his call the other day. Oops.

Hello my name is Dave and I'm a blog-aholic

OK gentlemen with your suburban lives, homes, and ethnically manicured yards. Try this one on for size. I'm 30 years old, I dislike my job, live in a great neighborhood (no bullets or methlabs), and have homework assignments. I drink for the pleasure of the substance not to get drunk and openly mock my former friend malt liquor... such sadness all the times I don't remember. I hang with the grumps and the skeezers and linger in libraries.

The best thing to happen as of late... What does one in his early 30's truly need? A formal event. And not just any, being students of the iSchool we can not simply have a formal event. We are having an iProm. That is correct I said "iProm" bitches. So grab the closet lovely with her hair in a bun and overdue stamp and dance the night away as if no one had ever heard of Dewey.

Yes, I am on the Prom Committee and I already have a date.

Where's Dave?

Okay, so I know that DZ is a busy man, with life, school, work, etc....

But that is no excuse! You are a hip and cool grad student with a pad on 37th and the drag, and a german shower curtain on your wall. Where you be?!

On another note, I'll get some pictures of my kickin' mini-van to post so that you can see how low I have sunk in the the muck and mire of fatherhood.

Dang, it's gonna be cold in Houston this weekend.

Re: Dots

I can read between the lines...

"I plan on starting up a blog when the baby is born to track the progress .... "

You're going to be a male mommy blogger. That rocks the blocks.

Good timing

Dude, this blog couldn't have come soon enough. Come May, this'll be the only porch sitting you'll ever get to do ever again, huh... Virtual porch sitting, that is. No more long nights out back with buddies and brew.

Where are you, Dave? Get to posting!

Ken-taw-kee = "Redneck Idiot"

Here's a redneck musing for you...

A coworker of mine decided to tell me a "funny" story today. Her family is from Kentucky and her family line is rich with "You might be a redneck if..." examples. This was her best one.

One of her uncle's brothers (yes I know the semantics are stupid, but that's part of the fun) thought the joke about redneck saying "You might be a redneck if...the phrase "watch this!" is followed by a life threatening stunt." was pretty funny.

Well, not long after hearing this joke, he was on a cargo train (why, I do not know) and turned to his brother saying, "Watch this!". He proceeded to jump off the train.......and died.

Yes, that was the punch line. As my coworker laughed, I stood there not having any idea what to say. How do you respond to that?! I told her that it was kinda funny, and at least the idiot is no longer contributing to the gene pool, but that she may refrain from using that as a "joke." It's more of an anecdote to exemplify stupidity. She kept on laughing and said it was a always a funny story for the family to remember. Yeah.

Don't go to Kentucky.

Dots?!

You had to go with the dots. Geez....

Well, I am glad you chose Blogger. I already have other blogs with this, so it makes life easy with me. I plan on starting up a blog when the baby is born to track the progress, and concurrent parental deterioration, of the little Nelson.

This is gonna be cool.

For my first thoughts on this blog.....the British are a bunch of pansies.

Is this thing on?

10 HOME
20 PRINT "Hello World"
30 GOTO 10
RUN